The air lays warm and crisp with a slight breeze from the summers gentle wind. The sky is littered with cumulonimbus clouds and early afternoon golden light. Andy tall and lanky , pump air rifle swinging over one shoulder, and I cigarette in hand wade barefoot through the reeds of a small turquoise pond behind Mt. Saint Mary. We wait with excitement for our buddy Dave to show, and soon start the trip onward.
Our packs full of provisions lay on a white stone rock formation protruding from the middle of the pond. A short old wooden bridge stretched from shore to the rock lead us across and back to shore.. Armed to the teeth Andy's pack stores our weaponry; 200 or so assorted burned out lighters, a roll of aluminum foil, a bottle of The Works Drain o, 1000 + copper head BBS, slingshot, machete, hatchet, a box of 100 paper poppers, lighter fluid, 3 cans of aqua net hairspray, and a box of strike anywhere matches.
My pack holding all the necessary essentials a half gallon of Captain Morgan rum, small bottle of Bacardi 151, three shot glasses, an ounce and a half of the finest green leaf nugget, an ounce of purple ivory gold mushrooms, a two foot hand puppet of Kermit the frog, a small set of bongos, a wooden flute pipe from India, a book from Dr. Seuss “The Places You Will Go.”, a carton of camel crush cigarettes, rolling papers, and box of Garcia Vega green leaf blunt wraps, a bottle of vitamin C, a 5lb bag of gummy bears, two composition notebooks, and a small bottle of glow in the dark paint. We were as prepared as two senior boyscouts, except for the food which was Dave's task.
A half an hour seems to roll by with no show of Dave. With all watches and cellphones left behind in Andy's beat up 79' Malibu, we had no connection to the outside world, let alone a way of calling Dave to see when he was to show up. “I can’t wait any longer for that dip shit let’s get this trip under way.” Andy wines. “Let’s break into those shroomies. We'll wait around here until he comes but let’s get the show on the road. For fuck sake I'm bored.” He targets on a frog a few yards away on a rock. Aims, shoots, and splash. The frog hops into the water and swims into the murky darkness.
“Patience is a virtue.” I reply while looking down the forest path to the parking lot behind us, hoping to catch sight of our comrade in arms.
“Thank you for that incite Dali Lama.”, Andy grunts out in a condescending tone as he aims up on another frog on the bank of the pond. He fires once and the frog jumps into the water and darts of into the reeds.
“Ok. Ok. He'll just have to catch up to us later if he wants to stay on our level.” I responded.
I walk over to my pack on the rocks and start rummaging through I pull out the small bottle of 151, bag of mushrooms, bag of pot, and a blunt wrap. Andy smiles ear to ear like the Cheshire cat in Alice in Wonder Land. Handing Andy over the bag of mushrooms, I start to prepare to twist up the blunt. Andy goes shuffling through the bag of caps and stems trying to find the ones we should digest first.
To Andy it wasn't just about the trip it was about the preservation of the human mind and the chaos that can ensue with just a simple touch of anything out of its element. Whether the mind be touched by a train spike flying at someones skull or a lucid dream were you are the train spike flying at someones skull, in each twisted and deformed cap and stem held a purpose and direction to somewhere for someone to something.
He took each mushroom and would examine it closely naming off little traits that characterized it as an individual with a purpose other than its own, whether it be haunting and ugly or plumb and jolly. “Look at this little guy and how treacherous he looks with its dark purple veins and golden speckled neck. That one’s going to be a killer.” he mumbles to himself. Not caring about the size and the actual science that was held in the nature of the beast. “This one’s for you buddy; it has a big fat thinking cap.”
By the time I finished twisting up the green leaf Andy had two small plies of shrooms set aside. One pile, characterized by shape, for me and the other ,by color, for him. Each small handful looking to have the same volume measured by the human eye.
Next came the part I hated the most the consumption of these horrid little toadstools. Their taste always so putrid of bitter cosmic shit. The stems always seeming to get stuck in the crevices of my teeth, which I would find myself trying to pick out with my tongue for hours to come.
Before gathering up my pile of caps and stems, I twist off the cap to the 151. I scoop up shrooms in one hand toss them into a shot glass and wait for the entire purplish psilocybin hue to fill the tiny glass. Into my mouth it went with a swallow and gulp of rum. I can hear Andy say “Bottoms Up!” as I pass him the bottle to do the same. First nastiness hits at the back of my throat washed down by a grimace of 151 proof alcohol. Then I pick up the blunt by my side light the end and take a huge drag to fill my lungs with the smoke of sweet leaf , letting my eyes roll back in their sockets and exhale in pure relief. The deed is done and there's no turning back now, time will ensue what is next.
“Now that's what I'm talking about. I'm sure Dave will show up soon. Show up to what I don't know, but now we can begin this freak show and get in line for the ride.” Andy remarks.
“Yeah I guess there's no stopping it now. Just gotta ride on.”
A frog, the size of a large fist, jumps up onto a rock a few feet away. Andy takes an inhale of smoke while he starts to pump up his gun. I smile and take the blunt from him to toke on while he takes his shoot. He hits the frog square in the back it flops over laying belly up with its gizzards oozing out on the stone. “Got that fucker this time.” Andy yells in triumph over his kill. “That will show you ya goddamn fucking frogs.”
“Lucky shot it was right in front of you. How do you know that one was the same one?” I say poking fun. “How do you know that wasn't just a foot solider sent out for recon? Maybe now you've pissed off the whole bunch of them and there are more to come. Looks there's another one.”
“Shut up and pass that blunt. He's a dead little tadpole.” and recoils. After I return the bottle and bags to my pack I start rummaging in Andy's bag for the case of Copper Head BBS and wrist rocket sling shot. “You gonna get in on the action?” Andy comments with a smile across his face. “Want to keep body count first one ta 20 wins.”
“I don't know about 20, but I'll shoot a few. I don't want to kill two many and fuck up their whole way of life.”
“You’re not gonna fuck up the ecosystem here. Can’t you hear all those greasy little fuckers out there croaking their war anthem? Even if we shoot a hundred it won’t make a dent in the population.” he answers back. “Always looking out for the little guy. I guess your right it’s not easy being green.”
Laughing and choking on smoke I aim up and pick off a frog on the bank of the pond. It jumps again and I sling another BB in its path smashing the side of its head and tossing it sideways in the dirt. Andy nubs out the blunt half way and rolls up his pant legs a little more. His pupils now fully dilated I can tell he was ready for some action. He looks all business like he’s going out to fight some Vietcong in the jungles of Cambodia.
“That's what I'm talking about.” he laughs. ”We are now tied 1 ta 1. Let the games begin.” Andy throws a small rock into the reeds and you can see the movements of the amphibious creatures that lay underneath. A few jump up onto shore down a ways and Andy goes chasing after pumping and shooting. I shoot a rock dead into the empty water and a few more frogs jump out on the shoreline a few feet away. I watch in slow motion as the BB I sling goes through one frogs soft under belly and into another frog to its side just grazing it, sending it jumping back into the water.
“I got three.” Andy yells back. “Four now.” as I hear the pop of his gun. I stand up and start to walk along the bank towards Andy as I see a few more hop onto dry land. I sling two BBS at a time hitting nothing but the top of the water. More start to jump out and now it seems that the numbers have multiply exponentially for me. Andy picks off two in my direction maiming one in the back leg and killing another. I finished the maimed one off with a small rock to the back. Crushing its bone plate and liquefying its insides under the weight of the projectile.
After a while we forgot the game we were playing and just stared picking of frogs left and right, paying no attention to the passing time or body count we left in the wake of our path. The croaks and rib-bits of the frogs war anthem seemed to die off. I turn to see Andy licking his lips and gritting his teeth. A frog jumps by his foot and before he can look down to notice I snipe it away and it falls backward into the water. “What the fuck are you doing.” he yells snapping back into reality. “You could have clipped my ankle you fuck.”
“Just wanted to know if you were still here.” I say smiling, as another frog splashes up out of the water and bites onto the head of the dead or wounded amphibian I had just shot. Andy jumps back in response letting out a yelp, while looking down at the large frog that has its brother in arms mid torso and legs dangling out of its mouth.
“God damn. Did you know these fuckers were Cannibals. Mother fuckers eat their own kind. That's something else. What kind of breed of frog are we dealing with here”? Andy then puts the gun a foot away from the frogs back bone and fires almost point blank You can hear the large thud the BB makes as it loges itself into the beasts back. The frog jumps more towards the peer swallowing more of his fellow green friend down until just a few flaps of back legs are showing.. Andy pumps and fires again direct hit to the ass back.
I laugh at the site remembering an old southern saying If a bullfrog had wings it wouldn't smack its ass on the ground every time it hopped..
The frog hops again towards our back packs and Andy shoots once more hitting its fat protruding stomach. The amphibious cannibal laid mortally wounded twitching and breathing as we approached its body. “It sure enough wasn't going to live to see another day. It’s the size of a god damn squirrel and has three BBS lodge it its spine, ass, and stomach. If I don't kill this abomination this beast's gluttony will. He'll sure enough die choking on his little green comrades’ dead body. Fuckin' A.” Andy muttered while giving one last shot to his head and then kicking it of the edge of the peer into the pond. The frog hit the water still kicking upside down trying to fight back its emanate death.
I lite off a camel cigarette and pass Andy one for himself. “Never saw anything like that on discovery channel.” I say while taking a shallow inhale. The cigarettes chocolaty smoke causes me to cough and I soon pinch the end of the filter to crush the candy mentholated ball. I take another drag and smile from the sharp cool taste of the change cigarette. I am a big fan of instant gratification and these got strait to the point.
“Wanna do some more frog huntin'?” Andy asked. The drool that went dribbling down his chin made him look rabid, but I couldn't say much. I was the same way on mushrooms. After the shrooms start to take effect your glands start to produce more saliva than normal, something the body does when you Poisson yourself your bowls tighten up.
“After seeing that I can wait awhile. I'm just gonna chill for a bit.”
“Ok, suit yourself I still want me more toads blood.” and smiles while he takes another drag from his cigarette. “I'll see ya in a bit.” Spits towards the direction he kicked the squirrel sized frog and starts circling the pond on the other side, laughing to himself. “Come and get me you cannibalistic amphibious rodents. I dare yeah.”
As Andy sprints off on his own little excursion I pick up what’s left of the other half of the blunt and re lite the end. Inhaling past the first bit of charcoal tip I soon began to taste the sweet leaf on my lips and expand in my lungs. I cross the bridge to set upon my white stone thrown. Dipped my feat in the turquoise waters, rolled my eyes in the back of my head and let my BRAINz swim.
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