My CraZy BeaUTY FuLL LaStNiTe

So last night after I posted my message to my SUN I went outside to smoke a CIGG.  To tell you the TRUTH I don't know why I'm still smoking anymore.  Every time I smoke a CIGG now I end up throwing up.  I don't even have to smoke it any more I can just have it touch my lips or even think about it and I can taste all its vile chemicals.  BIG TOBACCO has had me by the balls sense I was in the 3rd GRADE. I'm addicted. 

Anyways when I walked outside I locked myself out. 

 It’s funny because I saw it coming from a mile away, but I still didn't stop it from happening. 

 It was freezing outside and the winds were tremendous.  I went around to every door of the house loudly knocking, but my parents where dead asleep.  I thought to myself if I don’t get inside I’m gonna die. I couldn’t hear my neighbors wind chimes. Then I thought, “Wait a sec this isn’t how I die. I know that much for sure.”

So I crawled into the front passengers’ seat of my mother’s truck and curled up like a snail in fetal position.  I had my jacket thrown over my head and I just focused my chi.

 I ended up falling asleep for an hour or two until I was cursed by this succubus who found her way into my dreams.  She took the form of my TRUE DARLin Love and tried to trick me by offering me heat and sex.  I knew it was a succubus, but I didn’t care. I took both.  I then woke up and prayed to GOD for his forgiveness, because I was weak. 

See I’m the hardest one on myself most of the time.  Yearsterday when I went pinging for GOD he sent me this message,”SLOW DOWN THERE COWBOY ONE PING at a TIME.”  I thought it was funny, but then I started thinking about it while I awoke from my dream. 

Am I a GUNSLINGER?  Am I THE GUNSLINGER? 

Am I SANE? or AM I going INSANE? LOL =P well duh you dance with devil and your bound ta get burned.

See STEPHEN KING wrote a series called The DARK TOWER, read the series and you’ll find out what it’s about;  time travelers, portal jumpers, all kinds of crazy stuff that resemble my life.  I started to think maybe Stephen King wrote it about me not knowing.  That started to scare me a lil. Here is why: 

An email I sent to my AUNT

I did four more doodlez ta day in pencil(After I sent the email I did four more). I still need ta do the ink.  I guess my doodlez have become in HIGH demand. Pick 3 and I'll try and get them to ya before CHRISTMAS. I hope to have an ART show by next year.  I want to have over 30+ done, and at this rate it shouldn't be all that hard.  

Know what’s funny?

 I don't even think when I doodle them.  My hand does it all on its own.  There is no way I could ever copy a single one exactly.  They are like a fingerprint or a snowflake.  NO one, two, or three are ever the same.  It’s silly but every single time I get done and move on to the next doodle  I can’t even remember what the one before even looked like.  So I flip back in my doodle book and I am a MAZE.  It’s like I just saw it for the first time and then I get a feeling of DEJA VU all over again. It’s like I'm running up this spiral staircase  chasing myself in a tower filled with art, and when I think I got to the top and I'm about to catch my shadow. I'm right back at the bottom again still chasing myself but the ART keeps changing and I realize I'm the shadow chasing my light. I LOVE YOU all so very much.  I'll get you that story on what’s happening ASAP.  xoxo 

And then I started contemplating school and the reasons for it.  Why do you need ta know PHYSICs, Logarithms, Psychology, and proper grammar?  It doesn’t really matter.  Why do you need to know science or technology?  It hasn’t improved human life.  It has only made it worse. All these  things that they have taught me in school so far are just trapping me in a Pandoras Box. 

Art in its many forms is the one true being of expression that has changed the world for the better.

You know I even was told buy a professor at Rhode Island School of Design that I might be a lil to old for their programs and that my doodles and paintings weren’t good enough. I was 22 at the time.  My buddy Ian from my senior year of high school got in their but he could afford it, now he helps draw cartoons for family guy.  I GOT BETTER GRADES THEN HIM.  But he still is a good artist.  At the Manchester Comunnity College my drawing teacher gave me a B because my self-portrait was

“Too abstract and  cartoony.”

“I’ve seen you draw really realistic stuff MICHAEL what’s with the caricature.” 

Its my FUCKING SELF PORTAIT TEACH I CAN DRAW MYSLEF ANY WAY I SEE FIT, AND IF YOU KNOW ME THATS WHAT I AM ABSTRACT AND CARTOONY!!!

So I am just gonna not show up to any of my exams tomorrow. 

Our barn motion light came on and I saw one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen.  All the windows in the truck were freezing over.   It looked like a time lapse photography video of crystal ice fractorials.  It was like watching a million lil snowflakes being born and it only took a minute.  See from my bodies BTUs and the glacial winds outside it cause the windows to crystalize.  As soon as it was done the spot light shut off. 

I ended up spending the whole night outside awake thinking a lot about a lot.

 So from around 9:30 PM last night to about 7 AM this morning I was for the most part wide awake.

 I finally got let back in when my mother was getting ready for work.  My feet and bum were frozen.  When she unlocked and opened the door my teeth were chattering and I was swearing in all kinds of tonguez.

 I went and looked at the temp gage and it read 14 degrees outside.  Not including wind chill.

I’m warm now.  I just brought in some wood and warmed myself up by our wood stove before I sat down and typed this. 

I should be taking a NAP and then start up on my studying.

Hope I pass my entire final test.  I would not want to let anyone down. 

P.S.

I’m use ta the cold weather even though I grew up mainly down south.  I was homeless around the Manchester Area for a lil while.  I would walk the streets during the winter late at night with a book bag full of library books and a screwdriver by my side, just in case.  I slept in trees and baseball dugouts.  But even though I was homeless/houseless I still had a family amongst the derelicts of MANCHvegas , but that’s another story.

P.S.S One time when I was in the third grade living in STEPHEN, MN, this lady froze to death walking down the street.  They issue out these cards with temperature crystals on them.  If the crystals turn a certain color then you were advised to stay inside.  It got really cold in STEPHEN I almost lost my foot because on my walk to boy scouts my boot slipped of and fell into knows? wheres.  My foot turned purplish blue, but I managed to get it heated back up in time.  I have a lot of stories to tell you about that town some other time.

I need a nap.

Goodnight/ morning.

Amen!!!